just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
