I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
