I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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