absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
