I heard we made out
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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