i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
