the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
