i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
