i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
