I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
