I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize