i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Found the puke drawer
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
