I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
