you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
