You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
North Korea, Best Korea!
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
