She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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