i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
