they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
His hands were made for my vagina.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
His nipple licking is glorious
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