i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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