Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
