He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
