so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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