he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just invented taco cereal.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
