Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
