Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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