My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
