Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
