why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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