This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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