You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
