her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
