No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
