She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
