I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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