mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
