You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
