Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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