get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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