Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
this will be a night to untag.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
