Can i not drive my cunt home
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
