I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
