So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
