I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize