I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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