Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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