Only a mothe r could love this liver
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
