the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize