Will you blow on my dice?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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