I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
