I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
