Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
