I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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