I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
