Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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