Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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