If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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