The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
