I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
