I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize