is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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